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主題: [笑話] Police's testimony   字型大小:||| 
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#1 : 2011-12-19 10:13 PM     只看本作者 引言回覆

TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES
兩個年度“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯
背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業,但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。


If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
假如你有機會在法庭上作證,但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
問:警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場?

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the
description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
答:沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
問:警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像?

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
答:是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。


Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
問:是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎?


A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
答:我相信,我以人格保證。

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
問:以人格保證?那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎?  

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
答:我們有的!

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
問:那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎?

A: 'Yes, sir.'
答:是的,上鎖!

Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
問:好, 這是為什麼, 警官,假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的,為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖?

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
答:你要知道,我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的,經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲,庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。


Number 2:
“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之二


Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . .

In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.      
在最近的一次訪問中,诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍(海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥)被問到他是否有會可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。

His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.                           
他以典型的施瓦茨科普方式回答。

The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... Our job is to arrange the meeting."
將軍說,”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事…而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面”

你一定會欣賞他們二位的答辯!
You got to love them both!



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